God Loves Charleston

On Wednesday the 17^th June, Dylan Roof, a 21-year old male walked into the Emmanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina and shot dead nine people who were attending a Bible Study in the church. Among the dead was the Reverend Clementa Pickney the church pastor and a state senator. Immediately after the killings, the usual questions and statements were asked and raised. “God’s dead”, “Is God alive?”, “If there’s a God, why didn’t he stop it?”, “Maybe God is not as powerful as they say he is”. Sigh!

The troubling thing is that Christians, even pastors have these thoughts and ask these questions. However while it’s okay to have these worries and doubts, the only way they can erase these doubts and answer these questions is only by going to God’s revealed word, the Bible. Psalm 115:16 says that “The heavens are the Lord’s heavens, but the earth has He given to the children of men.” John 4:24 goes further to say that “God is a Spirit and those who worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth.” Hebrews 1:14 tells us that “Are not the angels all ministering spirits sent to minister to the heirs of salvation?” If we understand that God is a spirit and the angels and God live in the same place, then what these verses tell us is that the Heavens are for spirits while the earth is for humans.

The Bible makes us understand that we are spirits with a soul and we live in a body. With our spirits we connect with the heavens, God’s own or the devil’s own. With our souls we feel and express emotions. With our bodies we interact with the world around us. While we know that God is a spirit, the fact is that spirits are not legal in the earth. God is only legal in the earth through human agents in answer to the prayers of individuals. That is mainly how miracles happen. But the fact is that we live in a fallen world where crazy things happen because as the Bible says “The heart of man is desperately evil.”

Tragedies will happen. At times we will lose loved ones when we are not ready to let them go. Horrible things will happen in the world that will be broadcast on the news that will make us wonder: “Is God in control?” Yes he is. The Bible tells us that the earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof. He owns the earth. Which then leads to the question, “Why did he let it happen?”, the answer to that is “He didn’t. He gave the earth to men. The evil in the hearts of men makes them commit heinous crimes. “Does that mean God is helpless?” No. God set the rules by which the earth runs. While he is God, he chooses to abide by the rules he has set to govern the world in that spirits are illegal in the earth. However because crazy things happen in the world, at times we fail to see or understand the love of God because of the bad things that happen. No matter how long we live on the earth, we will never have the answers to all the questions we have. We should however take comfort in the fact that he has promised to never leave nor forsake us. He also promises to comfort us when crazy things happen. That should comfort us in the midst of our troubles.

JC Cruz is the author of DECEPTIO published by WestBowPress, a division of Thomas Nelson publishers and LOST, BUT FOUND.

We Are What We Believe

Elijah had just won a decisive victory over the pagan gods Baal and Asherah at Mount Carmel. In a great display, he had called the fire of God down from heaven in front of the people thereby showing people who the true God was. In the aftermath of his display, he had killed around a thousand of the prophets of these false gods. He should have been feeling good with himself and confident in the power of God. However, shortly after this great display, he receives a message from the Queen Jezebel who threatens to kill him like he killed the prophets of the heathen gods she worshipped. Instead of being confident of the God who had just displayed such naked and awesome power on his behalf, Elijah runs away from the threat of the queen, abandoning his servant along the way.

Elijah ends up in the wilderness in Beersheba in the country of Judah, far from Jezebel’s reach and falls down tired, asking God to take his life. While resting under a juniper tree, God sends an angel twice to feed Elijah for the journey ahead. After a long journey, God catches up with Elijah in a cave. God then asks Elijah what he’s doing there in the cave. Just like he asked Adam where he was after he had eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and his eyes were opened and he knew he was naked, God was not asking Elijah a question he didn’t already know the answer to. Elijah then launches into a sob story of how he had been quite zealous on God’s behalf and everybody had abandoned God and he was the only one left serving God. God then tells him to stand on the mountain so that he could speak with him. While on the mountain, a strong wind, an earthquake and a fire pass by Elijah. The Bible says that while these things passed by him, God was not in it. It was until a still, small voice was heard that he heard God’s voice. When God spoke, it was to ask the same question he had asked at first. Again Elijah answered God with the same story of victimisation and abandonment he had rehearsed earlier. After this God gives him instructions on the people to anoint and to prepare himself for death.

At times we all go through circumstances that debilitate us. Circumstances like anxiety, depression, fear and other negative emotions come to test us and to try our faith and belief in God. They come to taunt us, to make us doubt the presence of God and his saving power. They want us to forget the numerous God has come through for us. Ultimately, they want us to confess negatively and speak words that agree with the circumstances we are going through. While the Bible says God was not in the wind, earthquake or fire, I believe those phenomena were sent by God to remind Elijah of his awesome power that was available to Elijah if only he could correctly discern what was happening. Instead of seeing God’s power at work, all Elijah could see were his present circumstances (which were temporary) and he therefore could not see the power of God. The Bible urges the weak to declare that he is strong and for the poor to declare that he is rich because of what the Lord has done. This is about recognising that while we go through things in life, the things we go through do not define us. What defines us is what God says we are.

God didn’t want Elijah to die. I believe he still had a lot for Elijah to do. However there was nothing God could do because of what Elijah believed about himself. Even after seeing a display of the awesomeness of God, he still could not look past his circumstance to lay hold of God’s goodness and grace by faith. Hence he died. We live in a fallen world and most and generally it’s a terrible place to live. But God want’s us not to look at the world with natural eyes, seeing those things that are temporary. He wants to look with eyes of faith to those things that are eternal, resting our hope and trust in him.

JC Cruz is the author of DECEPTIO published by WestBowPress, a division of Thomas Nelson publishers and LOST, BUT FOUND.

So Much Ideology. So Little Faith

I read an article in Christianity Today written by Natasha Sistrunk Robinson, an African-American woman who was writing about the lack of diversity in the line-up of speakers within the conference speaking circuit. Her article I believe was her own response to the furore raised by a previous article written Rachel Held Evans. In the Christianity Today piece, there was a link to the earlier article by Rachel Held Evans. After reading the first article, I decided to read the write-up that had started the trouble. It was probably one of the worst mistakes I have ever made.   

There was nothing particularly wrong with the article itself. It was well written and thoughtful in its nature. The entire article spoke of someone who was afraid to speak so as not to cause division but felt she had to speak for the sake of the faith she professed, I felt the article was a perspective that was needed with regard to issues affecting Christianity in the West. However, when I started reading the comments section, a feeling of depression quickly settled on me. The more comments I read, the more I wondered whether I was reading the comments section of a Christian blog or that of a far left, liberal Democratic Party supporter. The more I read, the more I saw people who said they were atheists agreeing with those who claimed they were Christians in church bashing. There were those who even went as far as describing Christianity as oppressive. (I’m sure those in North Korea would disagree with them on what constitutes oppression).

Critics of marriage point to marriage point to the high divorce rates as evidence of the fact that marriage as a concept has outlived its usefulness. I disagree. Everybody agrees that governance is broken in Washington but does that mean we should abolish democracy? As long as imperfect people are involved, there will be issues. The same with Christianity. As long as the people involved are people and not walking in the spirit, there will be issues. But for people to say Christianity and by extension the Church is oppressive, that worries me. For people to say the bride of Christ, as opposed to the people who say they are Christians, is oppressive says a lot more about them than they might say. The comments were all without grace and all about blaming others. Most worrying however was the replacing of human ideology for faith.

From most of the comments I read, I understood that for the people commenting, the ideologies and traditions of men trumped any articles of faith. In short, it seemed that people who were ideologues and card carrying members of the Democratic Party believed they were better Christians than those who were Republicans. I read a comment from someone railing against the right’s attempt to enact laws that would affect a woman’s reproductive health. By that I take it the person was talking about abortion. Is that what Christianity in the West all about now? The murder of innocent babies? The understanding I got was that there were a lot of people who claimed they were Christians who were viewing Christianity through the prism of their sense of right and wrong instead of viewing their sense of right and wrong through the lens of Christianity.

Jesus said people had made the laws of God of no effect by replacing them with the traditions of men. From the comments I read on Rachel Held Evans blog, a lack of love or unity is the last thing we need to worry about. The book of Jude urges us to earnestly contend for the faith that was once delivered to the saints. How can we earnestly contend for the faith when we refuse to listen or do what God says? How can we earnestly contend for the faith when we are so busy blaming others for all that's wrong with Christianity? How can we earnestly contend for the faith when we think Christianity is some anachronistic cultural phenomenon stuck in the Middle Ages that we need to drag kicking and screaming into the 21^st century. I am always baffled and amused by those who think they know more than the fathers who delivered the faith we profess to us. I’m sure there are those who think they know more than Christ. I’m sure there are those who if they had their way would burn the Bible because the Word of God isn’t politically correct and is what stops Christianity from being truly “progressive”. No, a lack of unity or love is not really what’s wrong with Christianity. The problem at times is the people who think they know what’s wrong with Christianity.   

JC Cruz is the author of DECEPTIO published by WestBowPress, a division of Thomas Nelson publishers and LOST, BUT FOUND.

Grace Under Fire

 Shortly after the Hobby Lobby by the Supreme Court in America, Holly Fisher a West Virginia native posted a picture on Twitter. In the picture she was wearing a shirt displaying Hobby Lobby and holding a Chick-fil-A cup. In the caption to the photograph, she made reference to the fact that liberals were going to get enraged by the picture. I doubt even if she knew the outrage that would pour forth in reaction to the photograph. The photograph and the reaction to it by people on both sides of the political spectrum in America have made her something of a celebrity.

In American media, liberals are described mostly as tolerant while conservatives are generally referred to as bigots. Going through Holly Fisher’s timeline on Twitter, I was shocked, appalled and distressed by the comments from those who don’t share her views. Even elected Democratic representatives in Congress from her state have joined in on the act of insulting her on Twitter. There were not only those who wished her dead and who wanted to do her harm, there were those who were determined to call her every hurtful name under the earth. I felt not only distressed and alarmed by the abuse she was receiving on Twitter. However I was quite struck by the grace with which Holly Fisher answers those who abuse and wish her hurt.

It is a well-known fact that that the American media supports liberal causes. It is also a known fact that they believe liberals can do no wrong and every idea they have must be imposed on others. They do not take dissent very well. Anyone who does not agree with their opinion is labelled with the word bigots. Yet how anyone can refer to the people who insult and abuse Holly Fisher on a daily basis as “tolerant”. The people (both male and female) are quite definitely outraged by the fact that Holly Fisher obviously supports something they disapprove of. While I find it hard to believe that anyone would swallow the liberal line without critical thinking, it seems the people who hurl abuse at Holly Fisher actually do. The newspapers and other media outlets have been pushing the lie that the Supreme Court decision was a denial of contraceptives to women. All those who come to her Twitter feed to abuse all spout the same lie because that is what they have been made to believe. Whenever I see another comment by another enraged liberal, I ask myself why the media is determined to push lies as the truth. However there is a book titled Letters To America by Ayoade Oluwasanmi that seems to answer the question. The book is written in the form of letters from a friend in Nigeria to another living in America. They are based on the author’s perception of several social issues in America from gun control to the contraceptive mandate. The writer posits that the media and other liberals are determined to push the lies as truth because of the incitement value. In other words, liberals are determined to incite those who are moderate or sitting on the fence with regards to issues that liberals hold dear to hate conservatives to the point of wanting to harm them. The book can be found here. While others might think that the idea is far-fetched, looking at Holly Fisher’s timeline on Twitter, I don’t think so. While liberal heroes like Sandra Fluke are feted and anyone who dares say a word against them is demonised, no one stands up for people like Holly Fisher because the media do not like their message. Which is sad.

I admire Holly Fisher. In spite of the hate and opposition and criticism she has faced, she has stuck to her beliefs. I wish her all the best. However what gives me great joy is the fact that Holly Fisher is inspiring conservatives like her who were prior to her act, afraid to stand up for what they believed. If the liberals don’t like Holly Fisher, they should watch out for those who are following in her footsteps. Holly Fisher is an example for in the way she answers her critics, just by being who she is.

JC Cruz is the author of DECEPTIO published by WestBowPress, a division of Thomas Nelson publishers.http://bookstore.westbowpress.com/Products/SKU000194087/Deceptio.aspx and LOST, BUT FOUND available at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DPLLEUQ/.

TRUST AND OBEY

When we think of love, the picture that comes to mind is that of the latest celebrity couple kissing each other at some party at some exotic locale. Then when they finally speak to the press about their relationship they talk about “how much in love” they are. Therefore when we think about the word love, we somehow seem to associate the word love with the word sex. And that’s why we somehow find it hard to understand the love of God. It’s hard to make a sexual association with someone you can’t see. However God’s love (and love generally) has nothing to do with sex but it is a deep and abiding commitment to our welfare and our well-being. God’s love is predicated on his deep desire to have fellowship with his creation and he understands that his creation cannot have a meaningful life without fellowship with him. Therefore, the reason for the fact that he seeks fellowship with his creation is not so much that he is looking for someone to worship him, it’s because God desires the best for us. Therefore the relationship that he seeks is not for him but for us because he realises that we cannot be all that we can be without him.

In his word, God is constantly telling us of his love but it seems we are either hard of hearing that we can’t hear him or we just don’t believe him. In the end God gave us the ultimate proof of his love. He sent his one and only son to die for us so as to rekindle the relationship that we had let die. He was so heartbroken at the separation that sin brought about between us and him that he sent Jesus to show us the way back. Jesus said unless we exercised faith like little children we would not see the kingdom of God. The Bible tells us that God is so concerned about his word that he watches over it jealously to bring it to pass. He even has more respect for his word than his name. We need to take him at his word about his love. Trust him. And lean on him.

JC Cruz is the author of DECEPTIO published by WestBowPress, a division of Thomas Nelson publishers.http://bookstore.westbowpress.com/Products/SKU000194087/Deceptio.aspx and LOST, BUT FOUND available at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DPLLEUQ/.

LOST, BUT FOUND (EXCERPT)

Jessica turned to look at Anna. “What happened?”

“Excuse me?” Anna said startled. She had been staring at the other woman’s clothes and she had missed the question or something.

“I asked what happened. How come you’re in a wheel chair?”

Anna thought about it for a few moments. “Are you asking because you really want to know or you’re just trying to make polite conversation?”

Jessica’s mouth turned up at one side in a hint of a smile. “I’m sure a lot of people won’t think it’s polite actually. They would think I was being intrusive.”

Anna stared at her in silence for so long that Jessica wondered whether she was going to answer the question.

“I’m very sorry,” Anna said. “Please sit down.” She waited for the other woman to settle into the chair. “I was in my first year of college. I went out for drinks with some friends. It seems that we all had a few too many drinks. No one was sober enough to drive or to tell the person who drove not to drive. We all should have taken a taxi or something. On the way back to school, we had an accident. We hit another vehicle. There were five of us in the car that night. I was the only one who survived although I later found out that I was paralysed from the waist down.”

Jessica shivered. “I’m sorry.”

Anna shrugged. “I really don’t think about it that much anymore. I’ve accepted what happened. I don’t beat myself asking if the story would have been different if we hadn’t gone drinking that night. Or if only we had taken a taxi. You just hurt yourself more that way.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t offer you anything. What will you have? I’m sorry I don’t have any alcohol but there’s soda.”

Jessica shook her head. “I don’t want anything.”

Folding her hands in her lap to stop them from trembling, Anna looked at her. “Why are you here? I’m sure that you didn’t come just to ask about why I’m in a wheel chair.”

Jessica looked at her, her eyes narrowing. “If I remember correctly, you’re the one who came to me. You also didn’t object when I asked us to exchange numbers and addresses so that we could keep in touch.”

Anna was silent. The other woman was right.

“I came to ask you why you decided to come and introduce yourself,” Jessica said. “And I also came to find out if you were actually miserable and unhappy.”

Anna was taken aback. “Why?”

Jessica smiled but there was no mirth in her eyes. “Let’s just say that since I met you again a few weeks ago, I’ve been wondering what would have happened if I had done some things differently.”

“Meaning you’re comparing your life to mine and you think yours falls short somehow so you’ve come to see if I am, as you put it “actually miserable and unhappy”.”

The smile on Jessica’s face grew wider. “I see that you’re smart.”

“So, what conclusion have you come to?” Anna asked stiffly. So she had come here to compare their lives. Anna was sure that she held failed whatever test had been applied.

Jessica didn’t answer the question but instead turned her head to look around the room. There were a few pictures of Anna and her husband around the room. They were smiling and looked extremely happy in the pictures. There was also a couple of a baby.

“Where’s your child?” Jessica asked. “It it a boy or a girl?”

“A boy,” Anna answered. “He’s with Ben’s parents for the day. Ben and I wanted to catch up on some work.”

“How old is he?”

“He’s 2.”

“So why did you come to me?” Jessica asked again, turning her attention back to Anna. “You said quite a few nasty things to me the last time we spoke.”

“Let’s just say that we were friends once and when I saw you some part of me thought that maybe we could be friends again. Or something like that,” Anna added as she rubbed her eyes. “Let’s just say that I didn’t really think it through.”

Jessica considered the answer. “So you thought that once you came over and introduced yourself, I would fall on your neck in happiness and gratitude that you wanted to be my friend again?”

“I didn’t say that,” Anna said through gritted teeth. “Look, I’m sorry that I came over to you. I really don’t appreciate you coming here and making fun of me. I think maybe it’s time that you left.”

Jessica looked at her for a few moments. “I didn’t steal him from you,” she said softly.

“Excuse me?” Anna seemed to have trouble understanding things at the moment.

“I said that I didn’t steal him from you,” Jessica said, her voice stronger. “He didn’t want to go out with you.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Anna said quickly. Even though it was all in the past, she was surprised to feel a twinge of hurt that someone she had liked had not like her back. If it was that way, she didn’t want Jessica dredging up old memories.

But Jessica couldn’t stop. The words she had wanted to say all those years ago were building up inside her and she needed to let them out.

“I didn’t even know that I liked him but we met that weekend when you went to your grandparents and we got talking.” The words were falling over themselves, seemingly in a hurry to leave her mouth before she forgot them. “That was when I knew that I liked him. He asked me to go out with him and I wanted to say no because I knew you liked him. But I also desperately wanted to say yes.”

Anna felt like pressing her fists to her ears so that she wouldn’t hear the words but she didn’t. Her hands stayed in her laps.

“I always wanted to tell you but I didn’t have the courage. I knew you would be angry. Peter wanted to tell you but I told him not to. I wanted to be the one to tell you but I just couldn’t summon enough courage to do it. Peter said that if I didn’t tell you, you would find out and that it would be worse. He was right.”

Anna wheeled herself toward the other woman and held one of her hands as she cut into the flow. “I understand Jessica. The thing was that it was Peter’s choice to make who he wanted to go out with but I didn’t want to understand. I was hurt. My pride was injured and I took it out on you. I’m sorry.”

Her words seemed to take the wind out of Jessica’s sails. She looked blankly at Anna as if she didn’t understand what she had said.

Anna continued. “I’m sorry that I was so mean to you. You gave me your friendship and I tossed it back into your face. It was terrible of me. Forgive me?”

Jessica pulled her hand out from Anna’s own and stood up. She went to the window of the apartment, staring out sightlessly at the scenery.

The silence in the room stretched out till Anna wished she would say something, anything to fill the silence.

“I think that’s why I came to you at the antique center. I was hoping that maybe we could start afresh, be friends again. To know that you had forgiven me. I know that God has forgiven me and that Jesus has taken all my sins away. But I would love to know that you too had forgiven me.”

Jessica turned from her position by the window. “What’s this? God has forgiven you? Jesus has taken away your sins? You’re beginning to sound like my parents with all their religious babble. Don’t tell me that you’re one of them now?” she asked as she gave a mirthless laugh.

Anna straightened her body as much as she could and held herself up with dignity. I don’t know what you mean by “one of them”, but if you’re asking if I’m a Christian, yes I am. I believe in God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Holy Bible. Everything.”

Jessica was shocked. For the first time she looked at Anna. It was then she noticed some of the things that were different about her. The extra piercings in her were not in use and the few tattoos she had were gone. Anna, a Christian?

It wasn’t as if she considered Anna the greatest sinner in the world or anything like that because she didn’t believe in those things. But if there was someone from her high school days who she would have said would be the last person to become a Christian, it would be Anna.

“So you believe in Jesus and all that nonsense now? And you probably want me to say that I’ve forgiven you so that you can feel better.”

Anna shrugged. “It’s not about me feeling better Jessica. I’m just sorry that I hurt you.”

“Why did you become a Christian? Was it after the accident?” Jessica asked. “Did you convert because you thought that a non-existent God was going to suddenly forgive your drunken mistake and miraculously “heal” your legs? Even when you know that you’re never going to walk again?”

Even as the words came out, Jessica knew that she had said too much. She watched as Anna’s face lost its color and became ashen. She wanted to apologise as soon as the words came out.

“That’s enough. I think you’ve said more than enough and I think you should leave.”

Jessica turned to see Ben Palmer who had walked into the room unnoticed. There were bags of groceries on the floor where he had evidently dropped them. Fruit rolled on the floor and a few found their way under the settee.

“I ...”

“I said that enough Mrs. Carver,” Ben Palmer said his face flushed and his voice high and angry. “I don’t know who you think you are coming here to insult and upset my wife but I think you should leave. Now.”

Jessica looked from Ben Palmer to his wife. Anna was crying, the tears rolling down her cheeks. Her chest was beginning to heave with the sobs wracking her body.

“I just ...”

“I don’t want to hear anything from you. I suggest you leave now before I physically throw you out.”

Jessica looked at his hands and saw that they were clenching and unclenching by his side. He looked angry enough to carry out his threat. It seemed that it might be wise to do as he said. She walked back to the chair she had sat on and picked up her bag from the table beside it. She walked past Ben Palmer on her way to the door and she could have sworn she felt the anger emanating from him. She opened the door and turned to look at Anna one last time. The other woman was sobbing openly now. She felt something painful in her chest. Then she walked through the door and closed it behind her.

Ben Palmer waited till he heard the door close behind the intruder, then he hurried to kneel beside his wife’s wheel chair and hold her as she cried.

JC Cruz is the author of DECEPTIO published by WestBowPress, a division of Thomas Nelson publishers.http://bookstore.westbowpress.com/Products/SKU000194087/Deceptio.aspx and LOST, BUT FOUND available at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DPLLEUQ/.

LOST, BUT FOUND (EXCERPT)

Anna was looking around the sitting room. The place was lovely. It was a beautiful blend of antiques and modern furniture. She wondered if the place had been done by Jessica or by an interior decorator. She would bet that it was the latter. The whole place spoke of wealth. Again seeing evidence of the wealth that Jessica lived in made her start feeling sorry for herself all over again. Her apartment was nothing compared to this. In fact it looked downright shabby.

Stop it, a voice in her head said. She might not have all that Jessica had but at least she had Ben and their son and she was happy. And nothing could take that from her. Jessica might have all this but who knew if she was happy? And besides, she didn’t have the most important thing of all, even with all her wealth.

“I’m surprised that you’re here.”

Anna was startled out of her reverie by the words. She turned her wheel chair to see Jessica coming into the room behind her. As usual, she seemed to be dressed in the latest and definitely expensive looking clothes.

“I would have thought I was last person you would want to see,” Jessica continued as she sat on a settee that was opposite to Anna. Her words came out stilted and forced.

“I know,” Anna replied. “But I felt led to come and speak to you.”

Jessica stiffened. So Anna felt led. Jessica had grown up hearing her father say such things. It was supposedly Christianese for saying that some greater power was at work. It was a Christian’s way of saying that he was being made to do something he would normally not have done. Or something like that.

“Really,” Jessica said. She looked at her watch wondering how long she would let her speak before she threw her out.

Anna saw her looking at her watch and suddenly felt nervous. All that she had wanted to say and the order she had wanted to say them in became a jumble. She had to find a way to get her point across.

“Remember what you said when you were over at my place?” Anna asked. “What you said about me becoming a Christian just because I thought God would heal me?”

Jessica stiffened. “I believe I apologised for that. I’m sorry if I caused any offence.....”

“You were right,” Anna said cutting into Jessica’s rambling.

“Excuse me?” Jessica said, confused. She thought that was why she had brought it up, to get an apology from her.

“I said you were right,” Anna said speaking out. “For a long time, the reason I was calling myself a Christian was because I wanted something from God. I wasn't serving God because I should. I was serving him because I wanted something from him.”

Jessica was silent. She didn't know what to say. She thought both of them were the same thing.

“When the accident happened, I blamed myself every day. I used to tell myself that if I only I hadn't gone out drinking, I would still be walking. Or that if only I hadn't gone into the car not caring that the driver was drunk, I would still be walking. On the other hand, I thought about how life was so unfair and that God must be so wicked that he allowed it to happen. You can imagine that I wasn't a very happy person in those days. I could say that I was depressed.”

Anna stared into space as her mind went back to the days following her accident. “In the end, I slipped into denial. I began to tell myself that the doctor must be wrong and that I was still going to walk. Every day when I woke up, I expected that I was going to be able to move my legs. That I would suddenly get up from my wheel chair and begin to walk to every one’s astonishment.”

“I couldn't really find any peace from the worries on my mind so I began to go to the church in the evenings to pray. Then just because I felt there was nothing else to do, I started going to church. I would come late and sit at the back and then leave before the service was over.”

“Then one day, I got to church and the pastor was preaching about how there was nothing God could not do. How there was nothing impossible for God. He said that there was no disease, no sickness that God did not have a cure for. That all we needed to do was believe and have faith and trust in him like a child.”

Anna’s face lightened up with a smile as she remembered. “There and then I decided that if God could make me walk again even if the doctors had failed, I was going to try him. So when there was an altar call that day, I came out. I converted to Christianity because of my selfish desires. All the talk of being a sinner, needing Jesus, being repentant, everything went over my head. I didn't think I was a sinner at all. My whole aim was to get God to heal me.”

“I fasted and prayed for months that God would just make me walk again. It was as if that was all God existed for. To ensure he did all within his power to make sure I walked again. I went back to college and I started attending fellowship. I did everything I could do to deserve that healing. I practically worked or it. I didn’t mind all the people who made fun of me as I knew what I was going to get from God.”

“It was in college that I met Ben. From the first day that we met, I knew that there was something special about him. We hit it off immediately. But I was scared. I wondered what someone like him would want with someone like me who was in a wheel chair. But I would like to think he looked past the shriveled body and saw something that even I didn't know was there.”

“He was the one that made me understand that God is not some waiter waiting at our beck and call just to grant our demands. That God doesn't really need us but we are the ones who need him. Salvation and becoming a Christian isn't about God taking all our pain away, it’s about helping us bear the pain and trouble we go through so that we can share God’s love with other people.”

“I honestly believe that God does have the power to heal. I honestly believe that God can heal me. But I believe even more that God has a purpose for each of our lives. I believe that he uses the circumstances we go through to minister to us and to the people that we meet. Like he told Paul, his grace is sufficient for us. His intention is that even in the midst of our pain and trouble we will come to know and understand the purpose that he has for our lives.”

“I used to think that life was all about me. But I have come to understand that life is not about me but it’s about the people I meet every day. It’s about the people who come into my life and those who I meet. God wants us to be able to reflect him properly to them and show them his love.”

Jessica shifted uncomfortably in her seat.  She wasn't comfortable with all this talk. She wanted to ask Anna to leave but she didn't say anything.

“I believe that there is something on the inside of every man that makes you search for God. That makes you want to worship him. It’s when people don’t find him that they worship other things like wood, snakes, trees, iron, and goats. It’s when people don’t know where to look for him that they end worshiping the wrong things or they end up in a cult.”

“There are people who have come to God because they heard someone preach about him. Then there are those who find him in times of great pain and trouble or personal grief. But regardless of how they found him, they realised that they needed him and they held on to him. I believe that regardless of who we are or what we are or are not going through, we all need God.”

Anna held up something she had been holding in her lap. It was a small book and she held it out to Jessica. “That’s why I brought this. It’s a Bible. I’m not so foolish as to ask you to make a decision right now. But I want you to have this. I want you to read it and I’ll be hoping and praying for you that you find him too.”

Jessica stared at the Bible as if she had been offered a snake. She folded her arms across her chest and said, “Thank you but I think I’ll keep my problems to myself.” She made no move to accept the Bible.

Anna wasn't surprised. To be honest, she was a little hurt but she wasn't surprised. She wheeled herself over to a table and dropped the Bible on it. She turned to Jessica and smiled. “Thank you so much for your time, I really appreciate it. I’ll be on my way.”

Jessica followed her to the door. Just before they got to the door, it burst open with some force and Catherine stormed into the house. She slammed the door after her and began storming into the room. She stopped in her tracks when she saw her mother and another woman in a wheel chair.

“What’s wrong Catherine?” Jessica asked.

“I am so not going to be friends with Carrie again,” Catherine said fuming, “She is so mean.” She however refused to elaborate on how Casey had been mean. She was also busy staring at Anna as if she was from Mars.

Anna held out a hand to the girl and smiled. “Hello. My name is Anna. Anna Palmer.”

Catherine’s eyes widened as she shook hands with her. “I’m Catherine. Are you the one who fought with my mom over a boy in high school?”

“Catherine!”Jessica shouted, embarrassed.

Anna didn't know who was more embarrassed, her or Jessica. However, she was more surprised than embarrassed. She was looking at Catherine in surprise and there was a question in her eye. She would never have thought that Jessica had a daughter this old. The girl looked like thirteen or fourteen.

“It’s nice to meet you Catherine. I was just leaving. Maybe I’ll see you some other time,” Anna said as she wheeled herself through the door that Jessica held open. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

Jessica closed the door behind her and walked back into the sitting room behind her daughter.

“You didn't tell me what happened between you and Carrie.”

“I don’t want to talk about it mom. At least not now,” Catherine said. She looked down and saw the book on the table. “What’s this?” she asked as she picked it up the Bible from the table. She opened the leather bound cover to look at first page. “Oh, it’s a Bible.” She looked at her mother in surprise. “Are you the one reading the Bible mom? Is it yours?”

Jessica removed the book from her daughter’s hands. “It must be Anna’s. She must have forgotten it. I’ll keep it for her.”

JC Cruz is the author of DECEPTIO published by WestBowPress, a division of Thomas Nelson publishers.http://bookstore.westbowpress.com/Products/SKU000194087/Deceptio.aspx and LOST, BUT FOUND available at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DPLLEUQ/.