Imperfect Weaknesses

I wrote in my blog on Friday, I wrote about how imperfect people were to blame for the collapse of marriages and that there was nothing wrong with the institution of marriage itself. I had cause to reflect on this later that evening. After much thought and reflection, it occurred to me that our imperfections affect all relationships. However, Christians seems to have a penchant for covering our imperfections with spirituality.

I had a friend who wanted me to help him incorporate a company. I helped him put in the name he wanted for the company and when the name came out I thought he would be pleased. He wasn’t. He complained about how that wasn’t the name he wanted. The name he wanted for his company for which he had drawn up a business plan was etched in stone and could not be changed even though the difference was an “S”. He made it out to somehow be my fault that the wrong name had come out. I pointed out that he had given me the name twice and that was the name he gave me both times. He refused to accept any blame saying that the second time I came to meet him for the name after I had lost the piece of paper he originally wrote the name on, I had put him under pressure by coming to his office. I put in the name again at extra cost to myself.

There were several problems along the way most of which I told him about as I tried to resolve them. These all added to the cost of incorporation but he never once thought of reimbursing me for the extra cost. I gave him the incorporation documents of Friday expecting nothing more than a “thank you”. I had initially not wanted to take the job because the money he was willing to pay was far less than I should have accepted, but I did it for him because we had started talking about the project and he had shared his dreams and I didn’t want it to be something “small” like money that wouldn’t let me do it. If we had talked about money first and I found out what he wanted to pay, I wouldn’t have done it. So when I gave him the documents, I was okay with the money thing because I had accepted. He accepted the documents and told me that he wasn’t happy with the fact that he was just receiving the documents as he was working with a time frame and I had made him run past the milestones he had set. In the end, I got the impression of someone who would never accept responsibility for his own mistakes and blame others. I got the impression of someone who liked control. If one were to ask, he would tell you he’s just someone who won’t take no for an answer and who doesn’t suffer fools gladly.

Another friend came to me and told me he would need my services and the services of my firm institute an action against people who were stealing his intellectual property. He had developed an application for the banking industry and had gotten all the banks to agree to use it. In the end he had to get the approval of a regulatory agency in charge of the industry and to get their approval, organised a presentation. They refused to give approval and he couldn’t go on. All the dreams of the millions he was going to make through the licensing the application to the banks went up in smoke. Now, he has found out that the regulatory body seems to have gotten someone else to develop the application based on his presentation and is forcing the banks to use the application. My concern with my friend was whether he was actually serious about me representing him in court. My friend owns a BlackBerry Z10. This is the same person who asked me to help him incorporate a company. He didn’t even give me the full amount for the work. I ended up adding my own money and I never got my fees. He also asked me to help register a patent for his application. The same application he now claims someone is ripping off. I gave him a bill and he never came back to me. The cost of registering the patent is less than the cost of a Z10. For me, he doesn’t have his priorities straight and he should expect to be ripped off when he’s not straight in his dealings with his friends. Jesus said do onto other as you want them to do unto you. He would probably give some excuse about how he probably thought I had forgotten about the money and forgiven him. I must confess that I haven’t really been disturbing him about the money. I find it embarrassing and in poor taste to go about asking people for money they owe me. I believe their sense of what is right should govern.

I’m not trying to bash friends or fellow Christians for the fun of it. It’s just that I noticed these imperfections and I believe these are the things we need to take to God to change. We’ve all heard the cliché about how God loves us the way we are but loves us too much for us to remain the same. It’s true. We need to take a good, hard look at ourselves in the mirror and understand our weaknesses and take them to God in prayer.

So, you might ask, what are my own weaknesses? I realised that I’m too laid back. I believe that whatever is mine or that I’m supposed to have will come to me naturally without much effort on my part because that is what God wants. I realise that that is wrong. There are things which if I want, I need to go out and fight for, trusting that with God on my side, I will get them.

So, what are your imperfections or weaknesses?    

Why Did You Get Married?

The Bible tells us in Genesis that after God had created, he Adam then went on to give a name to everything that God had created. However, after he had named everything, he couldn’t find anything out of all that God had created that was like him. He couldn’t find anything that he could establish relationship with. God saw this and said that it was not good for man to be alone. God realised that he needed something or someone like him for him to have relationship with. Even God realised that apart from himself, man need someone else to establish a connection with. He therefore proceeded to cause man to fall into a deep sleep and from the rib he removed from the man, he formed the woman.

I recently came across an opinion piece on CNN where someone opined that there was something wrong with monogamy and that a man did not have it in his nature to be monogamous. It was funny that he didn’t say men and women but just men. It seems he hasn’t learnt anything about political correctness. I must confess that I did not read the reasons he gave for his opinion because I did not consider them worth my time.

There are those who think that there is something wrong with the institution of marriage just as there are those who think that there is something wrong with faith, believing in God. In fact, there are those who think that there is something wrong with everything and everybody else but that there is nothing wrong with them. In their eyes, there are perfect. Or as close to perfect as human beings can come.

I have meditated on these things for a while and I honestly and totally believe that there is nothing wrong with marriage regardless of the empirical, scientific or statistical data that might suggest otherwise. I believe that a man was created to enjoy communion, not only with God, but also with a woman and not many women. I have come to the conclusion that the problem is not with these institutions. The problem is with us. And our nasty, terrible desires. And egos. And the feeling of being trapped. Marriage is all about expecting the best from imperfect and selfish men and women. The problem is not with the institution, the problem is with those who use it. Nothing God instituted is wrong or has a problem.

Like Myles Munroe said, the only way to know the purpose of a thing is to either ask the manufacturer or read the manual that came along with it. A lot of people think marriage is all about free sex. Other think marriage is all about having children. Others think that marriage is about making themselves happy. Others think marriage is a necessary evil, bondage, something to be endured. That’s because nowadays we have lost the essence of marriage. One of the most truthful things about marriage I have heard is that marriage is always about service. Marriage is not something you go into looking to be served. You go into marriage to serve your partner. To see that their needs are met because you love them. If you meet their needs, they will respond in love. And you'll find joy and happiness. It’s as simple as that.

Why I Think George Zimmerman Is Guilty

Trayvon Martin is dead. The man who shot and killed him, George Zimmerman is a free man, acquitted of all charges by a jury comprised of six wise women who are his peers. They say they acquitted him after considering all the facts in light of the stand your ground law in Florida. The people of Sandford and the state of Florida have in effect told us that George Zimmerman lawfully and legally killed Trayvon Martin because Zimmerman was afraid for his life. They have told us that Goerge Zimmerman did the right thing in shooting to death an unarmed seventeen year old boy. What this means is that Trayvon Martin was at fault for his own death. As I write, Trayvon Martin’s parents are still searching for justice for their slain son. Whether they will ever find it is extremely unlikely.

Zimmerman’s lawyers took pains to stress that there was no racial profiling involved in their client’s decision to accost Martin. According to them, Martin was wearing a hoodie and therefore looked suspicious. The hoodie apparently was the favourite attire of gang members in the area so Zimmerman honestly felt that Martin was out to commit a crime. This is beyond belief. A top with a hoodie is an article of clothing and nothing more. A lot of colleges and high schools in America issue tops with hoodies with the college logo to their students. Some of my favourite bands like Kutless sell tops with hoodies as band merchandise. Are we then saying that because a top with a hoodie is the favourite attire of gang members then anyone who wears one must be a gang member? In my personal opinion, I do not believe it was the hoodie alone that lead to Zimmerman deeming that Martin looked suspicious. It is my personal opinion and belief that it was Martin’s colour in conjunction with the hoodie that led to him being accosted.

Whether or not Zimmerman racially profiled Martin is something we’ll probably never know. While racism is a terrible thing, President Obama has recently spoken of his own experiences of racism as an African American so it’s nothing new. For me, the issue of race though important, is not the most essential aspect of the case. In life, we are given different instructions and we are expected to obey them. A child is instructed by the parents not to speak to or accept a gift from strangers. We are told to look left, right and left again when crossing the street. A soldier in Afghanistan or a policeman in New York knows that obeying an instruction could be the difference between him living or dying or putting his colleagues at risk. Forget about the gung-ho policeman in Lethal Weapon who won’t wait for back up because he doesn’t want the bad guys to escape or he wants the glory. That’s a film. In real life, not waiting for back up could be fatal. In life, an instruction is not meant for your safety alone. It’s also meant for the safety of the other people involved. I'm sure no pedestrian wants to be the reason why a motorist swerves into building or wraps his car around a lamp post.

We all know that Zimmerman was told by the police not to get out of his car or accost Martin. He did both. I personally have not heard anything about the number of robberies, murders, burglaries or muggings that Zimmerman personally stopped by reporting suspicious individuals or accosting them. So why did Zimmerman leave his car to accost Martin? Did he have some super hero complex? It’s likely he did. Did he think he could over power Martin if things got rough? Maybe he thought so. But I don’t think those were the main reason. In my personal opinion, the main reason Zimmerman stepped out of his car that fateful night was because he was packing. He had a gun and he knew how to use it. The question then is, did Zimmerman leave the safety of his with the express intention of killing Martin? No, I personally do not think so. However, by his own admission, he thought Martin looked suspicious. Zimmerman stepped out of his car that night and took his gun with him. In my personal opinion, he took the gun with him because somewhere at the back of his mind, he had every intention of using the gun if the need arose.

A juror in the matter has told us about how the jury felt Zimmerman feared for his life. I must state here that I find Juror-B37’s references to Martin and Jentzel repugnant in the extreme. I also find it strange that she seems to have a very friendly outlook toward Zimmerman evidenced by the way she kept referring to him by his first name. In my opinion, Zimmerman set off the chain of events which culminated in Martin’s death when he disobeyed the instruction of the police and stepped out of his car. He would not have had to be afraid for his life if he had just stayed in the car. For me, at that point, he became guilty of the death of Martin.

If Zimmerman was a policeman or a member of any of the armed forces, he would probably face some internal administrative panel to answer for his disobedience. Unlike what happened in court, I doubt if he would have got off so lightly. But he’s not. So he walks away a free man without any care in the world or having to answer to anybody for his actions. The state of New York via its Supreme Court told us child pornography is not a crime. Now the state of Florida in conjunction with Sandford have told us loud and clear that it doesn’t matter if you kill an unarmed seventeen year old boy, even if you were the one that initiated the confrontation that led to the boy’s death as long you were afraid for your life.

Dr. Mike Murdoch is one of the greatest teachers with regard to understanding and applying wisdom to everyday living. According to him, the instructions you obey determine your future. By disobeying an instruction, Zimmerman cut short Martin’s life. However, he has created a future for himself. He will forever be known as the man who shot and killed Trayvon Martin in cold blood. I hope that’s something he can live with.

God Is Not Ashamed Of Oprah (He's Also Not Ashamed of You, So Why Are You ashamed of Him?)

I vividly remember watching an episode of the now defunct Oprah talk show where Oprah Winfrey talked about why she couldn’t worship God as revealed in the Holy Bible. She had opened her Bible one day and had come across one of the various places in the Bible where God was referred to as a “jealous” God. According to her, she based her rejection of God on the fact that there must be something wrong with a God who is creator of the heavens and the earth and yet is plagued by such petty human emotions like jealousy. I have also heard of other people, mainly celebrities like Oprah, who have rejected the God as portrayed in the Old Testament. In these days of political correctness they say they are appalled by the violence portrayed there. They would have liked to write their own Bible but since they can’t, they have rejected God and the Bible and created their own god and have their own rules (which owe nothing to the Bible). Then there are those who are controlled by their desires who see the Bible as nothing but a rule book which consists of do’s and don’ts and are turned off by that. (Is that really what we’ve made them believe?). They have also gone on to make up their own rules as they go. At times, they choose and pick the parts of the Bible they like. The especially like the parts which talk about God loving people as a justification of some of the base desires they have and they reject the other parts. Especially the parts they don’t understand because they don’t want to understand it. The funny thing however is that even though they’ve rejected God and the Bible and are ashamed of both, some of these people like to refer to themselves as “Christian”.

I must confess, I really don’t think much of political correctness. I also haven’t really given much thought to the violence, blood and gore of the Old Testament. They have a problem with a God who takes sides to unleash war on others. For me, the events in the Bible are not things to justify or repudiate or second guess. They were things that happened. Mine is to learn a lesson from the stories about God’s dealings with the nation of Israel and to come to a knowledge and understanding of God from those stories. God’s part is to reveal himself, mine is to see the revelation and believe. I understand that there are those who like to question everything because it gives them a sense that they’re cerebral and rational human beings which in turn is linked to a sense of pride in their own abilities and competencies. They feel a sense of pride in the fact that they’re too smart to believe. That’s not my brief. The people who are turned off by the violence forget that it all happened in a day and time when war was the only way territory and a place to call your own were won. Till today, wars are still being fought. I really haven’t heard any one of those people complain that much about the wars America is fighting. No one can deny that America has always insisted that any war it gets into must be for its own strategic interest. We’ve had wars in Iraq (the first and second parts), Afghanistan, and Vietnam where America was the main aggressor. The usual claim is that these incursions are to help keep American’s safe. That means it’s okay if America fights wars to keep its citizens safe as long as they keep God out of it.

We understand from Genesis that God made man in his own image and after his likeness. It therefore means that the emotions we experience are from God himself. To give an analogy, if I were able to clone a woman and all I wanted was for her to love me and me alone, yet I gave her free will to choose whether or not to love me and she went chasing after other men or things instead of me, I would be angry too. But God’s main emotion when we go chasing after other things is sadness. The Oxford Advanced Leaner’s Dictionary defines the word jealous in relation to God as “(of God) demanding faithfulness and exclusive worship.” I believe that captures the essence of it. God is not jealous in a negative way with dark, nasty thoughts. But his jealousy is one motivated by love when a creator sees his creation going astray and not fulfilling the reason for which it was created.

John 3:16 tells the whole story of the Bible in a few words. God loved us so much that he sent Jesus to the earth to die for us. Hebrews 4:15 says that we do not have a high priest which “cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities, but was in all points tempted as we are; yet without sin.” I don’t know about you but I’m grateful that God came down to know what it’s like to be me. I also like the fact that God is relational with me. He feels the things I feel. He knows where I sit. I know God is not ashamed of me because the Bible tells me that he loves me. 1 John 4:19 says we are able to love him because he first loved us. Why should I should I be ashamed of someone who loved me enough to send his only son to die for me? God is not ashamed of me (neither is he ashamed of Oprah for that matter. He loves all of his creation). And I’m not ashamed of him either.

The Power Is Yours (Use It)

While meditating on the story of Moses, I realised there were certain similarities between his story and that of Gideon, Joshua and practically everyone that God has ever used whose story is recorded in the Bible. It starts with the called man who has just been intimated with God's will of how he intends him to use him to bring salvation to a certain people, usually the children of Israel. The man makes known his feeling of inadequacy and asks God how he is to accomplish the task God has set before him. God tells him "I will be with you." That usually settled the matter. The man would then go on to do amazing feats and exploits. But the fact is that he did them because God backed him up. That was in the Old Testament.

In the New Testament, we understand that Jesus is the express image of God. In Matthew, as he was about to ascend back to God, Jesus promised the disciples he was going to send the Holy Spirit. He then gave a charge, a command to them. "Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen." (Matt 28:19-20). In the above verses, Jesus follows God's example and gives us a command, telling us to into all the world and make disciples of all nations, teaching them to observe all things he has taught in his word. He then promises, not be with us, but that he is always with us.

I read a post on Facebook from Reinhard Bonke. He talked about how Christians want to have a feeling of power before they move to do what God expects of them. He said that the Holy Spirit is like potential energy. You won't feel him till you actually get up to do something bigger than you that you require his power for. I recently read Ann Voskamp's blog, A Holy Experience. In it, she talked about an American woman, Katie Davies who has lived in Uganda for the past seven years. Katie was a student president and home coming queen in high school. But on leaving high school at 17, she travelled to Uganda to care for the less privileged and she has been there ever since. At 24, she is a mother to 13 Ugandan orphans and runs an organisation that raises money to help ensure that poor families do not have to give up their children. She documents her life and experiences in a blog called Kisses For Katie.

Most Christians seem to think that all God exists for is to meet their needs. There are things that God wants us to accomplish. While God and the Holy Spirit will always be with us as a sign that God is committed to us, I believe that God is even more committed to those who are actually doing what he has called them to do. I believe that God is less committed to making our dreams come true than he is to making his will and plan for our lives come to pass. He has given us a commandment through Jesus. We need to get off our butts and stop waiting to feel powerful. The Holy Spirit is waiting us to get moving and fulfil our own part of God's grand plan. If you're thinking that you're not good enough, then you're in good company. Just ask Moses. Or Gideon.

What is it that God has called you to do? What are you waiting for?



JC Cruz is the author of DECEPTIO published by WestBow Press, a division of Thomas Nelso Publishers http://bookstore.westbowpress.com/Products/SKU-000194087/Deceptio.aspx and LOST, BUT FOUND published on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00DPLLEUQ/ref=redir_mdp_mobile