LOST, BUT FOUND (EXCERPT)

Anna was looking around the sitting room. The place was lovely. It was a beautiful blend of antiques and modern furniture. She wondered if the place had been done by Jessica or by an interior decorator. She would bet that it was the latter. The whole place spoke of wealth. Again seeing evidence of the wealth that Jessica lived in made her start feeling sorry for herself all over again. Her apartment was nothing compared to this. In fact it looked downright shabby.

Stop it, a voice in her head said. She might not have all that Jessica had but at least she had Ben and their son and she was happy. And nothing could take that from her. Jessica might have all this but who knew if she was happy? And besides, she didn’t have the most important thing of all, even with all her wealth.

“I’m surprised that you’re here.”

Anna was startled out of her reverie by the words. She turned her wheel chair to see Jessica coming into the room behind her. As usual, she seemed to be dressed in the latest and definitely expensive looking clothes.

“I would have thought I was last person you would want to see,” Jessica continued as she sat on a settee that was opposite to Anna. Her words came out stilted and forced.

“I know,” Anna replied. “But I felt led to come and speak to you.”

Jessica stiffened. So Anna felt led. Jessica had grown up hearing her father say such things. It was supposedly Christianese for saying that some greater power was at work. It was a Christian’s way of saying that he was being made to do something he would normally not have done. Or something like that.

“Really,” Jessica said. She looked at her watch wondering how long she would let her speak before she threw her out.

Anna saw her looking at her watch and suddenly felt nervous. All that she had wanted to say and the order she had wanted to say them in became a jumble. She had to find a way to get her point across.

“Remember what you said when you were over at my place?” Anna asked. “What you said about me becoming a Christian just because I thought God would heal me?”

Jessica stiffened. “I believe I apologised for that. I’m sorry if I caused any offence.....”

“You were right,” Anna said cutting into Jessica’s rambling.

“Excuse me?” Jessica said, confused. She thought that was why she had brought it up, to get an apology from her.

“I said you were right,” Anna said speaking out. “For a long time, the reason I was calling myself a Christian was because I wanted something from God. I wasn't serving God because I should. I was serving him because I wanted something from him.”

Jessica was silent. She didn't know what to say. She thought both of them were the same thing.

“When the accident happened, I blamed myself every day. I used to tell myself that if I only I hadn't gone out drinking, I would still be walking. Or that if only I hadn't gone into the car not caring that the driver was drunk, I would still be walking. On the other hand, I thought about how life was so unfair and that God must be so wicked that he allowed it to happen. You can imagine that I wasn't a very happy person in those days. I could say that I was depressed.”

Anna stared into space as her mind went back to the days following her accident. “In the end, I slipped into denial. I began to tell myself that the doctor must be wrong and that I was still going to walk. Every day when I woke up, I expected that I was going to be able to move my legs. That I would suddenly get up from my wheel chair and begin to walk to every one’s astonishment.”

“I couldn't really find any peace from the worries on my mind so I began to go to the church in the evenings to pray. Then just because I felt there was nothing else to do, I started going to church. I would come late and sit at the back and then leave before the service was over.”

“Then one day, I got to church and the pastor was preaching about how there was nothing God could not do. How there was nothing impossible for God. He said that there was no disease, no sickness that God did not have a cure for. That all we needed to do was believe and have faith and trust in him like a child.”

Anna’s face lightened up with a smile as she remembered. “There and then I decided that if God could make me walk again even if the doctors had failed, I was going to try him. So when there was an altar call that day, I came out. I converted to Christianity because of my selfish desires. All the talk of being a sinner, needing Jesus, being repentant, everything went over my head. I didn't think I was a sinner at all. My whole aim was to get God to heal me.”

“I fasted and prayed for months that God would just make me walk again. It was as if that was all God existed for. To ensure he did all within his power to make sure I walked again. I went back to college and I started attending fellowship. I did everything I could do to deserve that healing. I practically worked or it. I didn’t mind all the people who made fun of me as I knew what I was going to get from God.”

“It was in college that I met Ben. From the first day that we met, I knew that there was something special about him. We hit it off immediately. But I was scared. I wondered what someone like him would want with someone like me who was in a wheel chair. But I would like to think he looked past the shriveled body and saw something that even I didn't know was there.”

“He was the one that made me understand that God is not some waiter waiting at our beck and call just to grant our demands. That God doesn't really need us but we are the ones who need him. Salvation and becoming a Christian isn't about God taking all our pain away, it’s about helping us bear the pain and trouble we go through so that we can share God’s love with other people.”

“I honestly believe that God does have the power to heal. I honestly believe that God can heal me. But I believe even more that God has a purpose for each of our lives. I believe that he uses the circumstances we go through to minister to us and to the people that we meet. Like he told Paul, his grace is sufficient for us. His intention is that even in the midst of our pain and trouble we will come to know and understand the purpose that he has for our lives.”

“I used to think that life was all about me. But I have come to understand that life is not about me but it’s about the people I meet every day. It’s about the people who come into my life and those who I meet. God wants us to be able to reflect him properly to them and show them his love.”

Jessica shifted uncomfortably in her seat.  She wasn't comfortable with all this talk. She wanted to ask Anna to leave but she didn't say anything.

“I believe that there is something on the inside of every man that makes you search for God. That makes you want to worship him. It’s when people don’t find him that they worship other things like wood, snakes, trees, iron, and goats. It’s when people don’t know where to look for him that they end worshiping the wrong things or they end up in a cult.”

“There are people who have come to God because they heard someone preach about him. Then there are those who find him in times of great pain and trouble or personal grief. But regardless of how they found him, they realised that they needed him and they held on to him. I believe that regardless of who we are or what we are or are not going through, we all need God.”

Anna held up something she had been holding in her lap. It was a small book and she held it out to Jessica. “That’s why I brought this. It’s a Bible. I’m not so foolish as to ask you to make a decision right now. But I want you to have this. I want you to read it and I’ll be hoping and praying for you that you find him too.”

Jessica stared at the Bible as if she had been offered a snake. She folded her arms across her chest and said, “Thank you but I think I’ll keep my problems to myself.” She made no move to accept the Bible.

Anna wasn't surprised. To be honest, she was a little hurt but she wasn't surprised. She wheeled herself over to a table and dropped the Bible on it. She turned to Jessica and smiled. “Thank you so much for your time, I really appreciate it. I’ll be on my way.”

Jessica followed her to the door. Just before they got to the door, it burst open with some force and Catherine stormed into the house. She slammed the door after her and began storming into the room. She stopped in her tracks when she saw her mother and another woman in a wheel chair.

“What’s wrong Catherine?” Jessica asked.

“I am so not going to be friends with Carrie again,” Catherine said fuming, “She is so mean.” She however refused to elaborate on how Casey had been mean. She was also busy staring at Anna as if she was from Mars.

Anna held out a hand to the girl and smiled. “Hello. My name is Anna. Anna Palmer.”

Catherine’s eyes widened as she shook hands with her. “I’m Catherine. Are you the one who fought with my mom over a boy in high school?”

“Catherine!”Jessica shouted, embarrassed.

Anna didn't know who was more embarrassed, her or Jessica. However, she was more surprised than embarrassed. She was looking at Catherine in surprise and there was a question in her eye. She would never have thought that Jessica had a daughter this old. The girl looked like thirteen or fourteen.

“It’s nice to meet you Catherine. I was just leaving. Maybe I’ll see you some other time,” Anna said as she wheeled herself through the door that Jessica held open. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

Jessica closed the door behind her and walked back into the sitting room behind her daughter.

“You didn't tell me what happened between you and Carrie.”

“I don’t want to talk about it mom. At least not now,” Catherine said. She looked down and saw the book on the table. “What’s this?” she asked as she picked it up the Bible from the table. She opened the leather bound cover to look at first page. “Oh, it’s a Bible.” She looked at her mother in surprise. “Are you the one reading the Bible mom? Is it yours?”

Jessica removed the book from her daughter’s hands. “It must be Anna’s. She must have forgotten it. I’ll keep it for her.”

JC Cruz is the author of DECEPTIO published by WestBowPress, a division of Thomas Nelson publishers.http://bookstore.westbowpress.com/Products/SKU000194087/Deceptio.aspx and LOST, BUT FOUND available at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DPLLEUQ/.

One and Half Popes and Doctrine

I read an article on the Fox News website about the ceremony where Pope Francis elevated nineteen new Cardinals to the College of Cardinals, the body responsible for electing a new Pope. His predecessor, Pope Emeritus Benedict was also present at the ceremony. It was quite an interesting article but there was something that struck me quite powerfully about the article. The writer made reference to the fact that the crowds that were coming to listen to Pope Benedict daily when he was in office were one-third of those that now come to listen to Pope Francis. I believe the intention of that particular piece of information (or was it a fact check?) was to show how unpopular Pope Benedict is in contrast to Pope Francis. This is in light of the fact that the writer in the same article remarked that people present cheered when they saw Benedict.

                        

There is a tendency in human beings for comparison even though the Bible tells us that the people who do this are not wise. One of the most obvious means of comparison is numbers. Therefore a person in an office who attracts more people to his sermons or meetings is deemed more popular and from that position we believe that he must be more effective. However I tend to see things differently. I believe the fact that Benedict drew smaller numbers of people than Francis says a lot more about the people than it does about Benedict.

There have been several reports in the mainstream media about Pope Francis comments. These comments have been analysed, dissected and analysed some more in the mainstream media. From their analysis of his comments one would be forgiven for thinking that he was about to abolish all the doctrines of the Catholic Church. It seems the mainstream media have got this idea between their teeth and their running with it so much so that it culminated with him being on the cover of TIME magazine as their man of the year. And it seems a lot of Catholics seem to have this idea as well. So it seems that while a lot of them see Benedict as a strict and unbending conservative, Francis is the flexible and conciliatory liberal. Hence the great love.

G. K. Chesterton said that the Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting, rather it deemed to be hard and so left untried. I have always said I do not believe in labels when it comes to Christianity. You are either a Christian or not. I do not believe you’re a conservative Christian or a liberal Christian. I also reject the terms fundamentalist unless by that you mean someone who believes in the Bible. I believe the Bible is the final authority on all things that has to do with the faith Christ gave us. Like C. S. Lewis said, doctrines were given to us as maps by men but these men had deep relationships with God. I believe we live in a fallen world with fallen minds which need renewal in the word.

I admire Benedict. He felt trapped in a position that was not allowing him fellowship was God which he missed deeply. So he gave up his position and all the trappings and stepped aside for someone else who could handle everything so much better. I do not believe the fact that Pope Francis is drawing bigger crowds reflects badly on his predecessor. I believe some of the people who come to see Francis are already living the liberal lifestyle they want him to endorse. They want him to endorse their own beliefs and make them happy and comfortable by breaking down doctrines that have served the Church for centuries. We’ll wait and see if he’ll oblige them. Although I wouldn't hold my breath.

JC Cruz is the author of DECEPTIO published by WestBowPress, a division of Thomas Nelson publishers, http://bookstore.westbowpress.com/Products/SKU000194087/Deceptio.aspx and LOST, BUT FOUND available at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DPLLEUQ/. You can follow him on Twitter @Cruz_JCReal.  

God is Love But is Love God?

To ask that God’s love should be content with us as we are is to ask that God should cease to be God – C. S. Lewis

When people mean when they say that God is love is often something quite different; they really mean love is God – C. S. Lewis

Recently I saw a tweet that brought a wry smile to my lips. On the 24^th September this year Nicole Scherzinger tweeted the following passage of the Bible from her account:

“A new commandment I give unto you, That you love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.”

The above passage is John 13:34. Jesus was speaking to his disciples during the meal known commonly known as the Last Supper. Jesus knew that he was about to be crucified and he was effectively given his last sermon to the disciples before he would be taken away. Earlier in his ministry, he had broken down the entire law that had been given through Moses, comprising over 600 rules and regulations into two, to love God with our whole heart, mind and soul and to love our neighbours as ourselves. After Jesus died, even Paul wrote an entire chapter in the book of Corinthians on the topic of love. One then might be forgiven for thinking that the only important thing in Christianity is love. However, while it might be the most important thing, it’s not the only thing.

The Bible says that “while we yet sinners, Christ died for us”. He died for us because he loved us. The Bible also says we love him because he first loved us. That means we are able to love him back because he first loved us. The Christian group had a song that said, “Love is a Verb”. That means that you cannot say you love without doing something to show it? How do we know he loves us? Because he died to save us from our sins. But he also wants us to love him back. In the book of John 14:15, Jesus said: “If ye love me, keep my commandments.” Therefore, the only way we can show we love God is by keeping his commandments.

I've said before that I do not believe that Christ came to establish a religion called “Christianity”. I believe that Christianity is a contraption formulated by man to allow us fall short of what Christ expects of God since we are “just men” even though Christ said that greater works than he did we would do. Christianity is a crutch we lean on that allows us to conveniently fall short of what God expects of us. Christ came to set up a kingdom known as the Kingdom of God (or the Kingdom of Heaven) with the Holy Spirit as his representative when he left, not to set up a religion. From the book of Acts, we understand that Christians were called by that name first in Antioch. I believe the people who started using the term were not people of the same faith and there is every likelihood that the term might have been derogatory. We shy away from the concept of a kingdom with a king because somehow prefer the concept of presidents and democracy where everybody is “equal”. However, God is not some equal opportunities employer, he is a king.

Romans 8:2 talks about the “law of the Spirit of life”. Isaiah 9:6 talks about the government being upon the shoulder of the child that is born. If there is a kingdom or government, it presupposes that there must be legislation. We seem to think that the kingdom of God has no rules. However, what kingdom, or government can stand without rules? We seem to think that because we operate a new covenant that we are under no obligation to keep any of God’s commandments. While I will admit that quite a number of the laws were personal to the Jews, the laws known as the 10 Commandments are not. For instance, from Jesus words, it’s quite clear that God is still interested in us honouring our parents. So, if we still need to obey laws, how then is this dispensation of grace different from that of the law? The main difference is Holy Spirit. Under the law, we tried to please God with our own efforts. We did all we could and we still fell short. When we sinned, we tried to pacify God with the sacrifice of animals because the Bible says the wages of sin is death. Therefore we needed something to take our death when we sinned. Under grace, before we even sin, we understand that Christ has shed his blood for our past, present and future sins. We also understand that God himself through the Holy Spirit is working in us to help us keep the laws. We also don’t need to beat ourselves up when we fall or run away from him when we sin. We are to run toward him and fall at his feet and receive his forgiveness.

The Bible says Christ is returning for a Church without spot, wrinkle or blemish. If Christ died for us while we were yet sinners, do we presume to think that God is happy if we continue doing the same things that made him consider us sinners even after we accept Christ?I think not. God said that in these times, he would write his laws not on tables of stone but on the tables of our heart. The heart is a symbol of love. It means therefore that in these days, God’s laws will be dear to us. His laws will not be grievous to us because we love him and want to please him and because we understand that they are for our good.

God is a God of love. But he is also a God of judgement. Any attempt to gloss over this is wrong. While God is love, love is not God. We should stop trying to excuse or justify the wrong we or others do by saying “God loves us the way we are”. It's even funnier when people who don't acknowledge Jesus as their Lord and Saviour try try to preach love to Christians. If there was a man who was married but had an anger problem and every time he got angry he beat his wife. When he’s asked why he doesn't deal with his anger issues, he replies, “God loves me the way I am”. I wonder which one of us would agree with that. Jesus said he did not come into the world to condemn it. However, he did say that in the end, we would be judged by the words he had spoken. Everything we do should flow out of love but we should use love as an excuse not to move on to maturity. How does maturity come about? By being obedient to God’s laws.The Bible makes it clear that one day, Heaven and Earth will pass away and we all we will stand before God’s throne in judgement. Then we’ll discover just how far God’s love extends. But by then, it might be too late. 

JC Cruz is the author of DECEPTIO, a political thriller about the persecution of Christians. DECEPTIO is published by WestBow Press, a division of Thomas Nelson Publishers and is available at http://www.bookstore.westbowpress.com/Products/SKU-000194087/Deceptio.aspx. He is also the author of LOST, BUT FOUND a story about love, loss, rejection and redemption available on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DPLLEUQ. You can follow him on Twitter at @Cruz_JCReal